Story of a Sikh mother's pain

Mother of Student who was groomed to conversion talks about her pain

21st of March 2007
Panthic Weekly News Bureau

This weekly Panthic Weekly brings the story of a Sikh mother's pain after her son was groomed into converting to Islam.

Students who have been close to extremist Muslims at colleges and universities have said that Islamic Groups tell students who convert to keep "Allah in your heart", which means keep it a secret from your family. This is a tactic employed by cults whose aim is to isolate the target from the family. The word 'al Taqiyya' means concealing or disguising ones belief, convictions, ideas, opinions, feelings and strategies at a time of eminent danger to save one from physical or mental injury, or for the prosperity and welfare of Islam. The website Sikh4Life.co.uk, provides a list of strategies and tactics used by extremist Islamists to groom Sikh students to convert. Some of the tactics used are:

a) Target Sikh boys and girls especially those who are:
* Poorly educated about their religious concepts
* Enjoy dating, drinking etc

b) Promote low-level dialogue
* Do you believe in God, why not?
* Koran is scientifically proven, attacks on Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji
* Invitation to meetings/discussion groups

c) Provide surrogate 'family'/immediate group of 'friend' for students living away from home

d) Target Vulnerable Groups
* Living away from home
* Broken family, child does not get attention or love at home
* Weak minded individuals
* Personal problems - Death in family, abusive parent, forced marriage, pressure to wear turban


Mother of Sikh Student at Kingston University who converted to Islam talks about her pain

22nd July 2006: A mother's intuition sometimes tells you something is not right. I was due to go to a religious function with friends and for some reason I kept coming back into the house and my eldest son was very jittery and nervous and it just didn't sit well with me. I asked him what was the matter and he said nothing, he was very nervous and said, "Go mum I'm fine" and he shut the door of his room which sent alarm bells. I re-opened the door to look inside, there was a mat on the floor and I just knew, I had a gut feeling that he was praying. I asked him if he was praying. He got angry and defensive and told me it's nothing forget it. I phoned my father and took my son to see him. He went very reluctantly. There he told us that he had converted to Islam.

At this stage, I took advice from anyone who was prepared to help. I went to the Sikh University in Harrow. There they questioned him and he had no answers to their questions. He said that the only way to go to Allah was through Mohammed.

Through the Sikh University I met numerous educated Baptised Sikhs who agreed to talk to him and his Muslim brothers. His Muslim brothers came to the meetings and badgered, abused and bullied the Sikh boys about their beliefs. Every time my son was asked questions about his conversion, he had no answers. He would run back to the mosque to find out the answers to their questions. It was clear that he went into this religion with his eyes shut and his Muslim brothers were controlling him.

At that time my relationship with my son was intolerable. I cried night after night, ran out of my house hoping that a car would hit me. I would crawl on my knees and beg him to consider the consequences with an elderly grandfather and heartbroken fiancé. He would just sit there like a stone and say come mum I will show you the light. He would never give me eye contact and he would be always be living on nervous energy, he was always conversing with his Muslim brothers who gave him support. He had his henchmen dictating his every action and every move.

My son said that in Islam we respect Allah, then your mother, then your mother, then your mother.... so why was he causing me so much pain.

They picked on my son's vulnerability i.e., away from home attending university; grandmother's sudden death and he needed someone to turn to. I could not be there for him as I was looking after my sick father and other children at home. He got into debates about death with his university Muslim brothers and they would take him into meetings to answer his questions. All the time he was told not to talk about these meetings, even with his girlfriend. From there they gave him leaflets and brochures to educate himself, which was kept hidden. Later these Muslim brothers invited him to play football in their teams.

He was engaged and due to get married in 2007. It turned out that he told his fiancé and tried to convert her and told her to keep it quiet and not to tell me until he was ready. The hardest and most painful thing was to invite his fiancé's parents to the house and tell them that my son had converted to Islam. I have never felt so low and this devastated the whole family, especially my elderly father who was looking forward to the wedding. My father wished that he had died instead of having to witness this betrayal. In relation to my mother's death, my father commented, 'thank God she did not have to witness this'.

I have not given up hope, I always believe in my faith. I felt the Gurdwara let me down because they were too busy making money and running for elections. I do feel that I have let my son down and I wasn't there when he needed me the most and I do believe that no mother or family should ever, ever have to go through this. He has repeatedly told me to convert. I get scared to send him anywhere with my youngest son as numerous times he has tried to prime him.

He has transformed from being warm and loving to being cold and egotistical. He gloats when he hears that another Sikh has been converted. As a Muslim boy in a Sikh family he wants to save us so that we will go to heaven with him and not hell without him.

I felt suicidal I wanted him dead and kept telling him that I wished he'd died at birth so I wouldn't have to go through this. I tried to hold the family together but everything was falling apart and every look he gave me and every action he took was like a knife in my heart. I believe this is hell and my safe world blew up and got destroyed by evil. I felt that my loving, gentle giant turned into a brainwashed robot. If this is his version of love to his mother then I do wish that Allah can have him.

Panthic Weekly would like to thank the Sikh Mother for sharing her story. Her story illustrates how vulnerable students are preyed upon, however more seriously the vulnerability is based on ignorance and the failings of the Sikh community and parents to provide support and comfort to youngsters. Sikh community leaders and parents need to awake to their responsibilities to educate and inspire Sikh youngsters with Gurbani and Sikh history. With no knowledge of our own faith, we make ourselves vulnerable and weak. The Sikh youth need to be made aware of these challenges before they go to school, college or University. If a youngster is aware of the issues and are armed with knowledge, they will never be swayed. The Guru has taught us to rise above anger, lust, greed, attachment and ego-centeredness and to respond with a calm and collective conscious.